


Amber Wings

by Bramadian0336



Series: Black Honey [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games), Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Healing, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Not Canon Compliant, Protective Ben Solo, Redemption, Romance, Slow To Update, Smut, Soft Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:20:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24630712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bramadian0336/pseuds/Bramadian0336
Summary: After fighting for their survival and to save the galaxy, Jeyna and Ben are ready to settle into a peaceful life together. But the force has a will, and its own plans for them. Jeyna's abilities with the force are growing stronger, and so is the lure to the dark side.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Ben Solo/Original Female Character(s), Ben Solo/Reader, Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader
Series: Black Honey [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733002
Comments: 9
Kudos: 73





	1. Ch. 1

**Dantooine**

It is late into the night when the nightmare returns to Jeyna. It’s been a while since she has had this particular bad dream, but it strikes with a vengeance. It fills her senses so realistically, she loses herself in it almost immediately. The smoke burns her throat, scorching her lungs with every desperate gasp. Her eyes tear up, irritated by the sooty haze.

The explosions around her are strange. She can feel them, but everything is oddly silent. The chaos shakes her body, each new blast making her wince and cower. Jeyna can’t see her mother now, she can’t see anything but the wall of flames. All around her the fire licks higher, consumes more. Another shudder under her feet, and a beam in the roof gives way. Sparks shower as it slams down, partially collapsing the room she is in.

Jeyna is crawling, she thinks. Hands and knees across a floor that is too warm, her skin protesting against the heat of the air. She can’t find her way out. Everything is the fire, it’s surrounding her. She won’t escape.

She opens her mouth to scream, to shout for help against the destruction that’s trapped her. But again, nothing but silence presses against her eardrums. She can’t hear her own voice, no matter how hard she tries to make a sound. Jeyna is powerless, voiceless against her fate.

Her chest hurts, it feels like something has reached in to grab her heart and twist. She tries to sob, collapsing down, her ears feeling deadened by the absence of noise. But then, she hears it. A sound amongst the nothingness that had smothered her cries.

Jeyna tries to focus on it, to make it out. She closes her eyes to the flames, tries to block out the heat scorching her face. It’s a voice, she realizes. She can hear someone’s voice, calling to her.

**_It’s a nightmare, Jeyna. It’s not real._ **

But when she opens her eyes, she can see it. She can see her home, burning around her. The roof collapsing in further, black smoke quickly obscuring her senses.

**_You’re okay. It’s in the past, remember? It’s only a memory._ **

Jeyna clamps her eyes shut again, focusing on that voice. Is this a memory? Is that it?

**_You need to wake up. It’s okay, you’re safe here with me._ **

The voice breaks through the terror of the dream, and she feels intense relief as soon as the recognition crosses her mind. “Ben…” she gasps, his name managing to slip through her lips. She can feel his energy, there with her as if he’s right beside her. She wants to reach out for him, wants to find her way out of the terror and back to him.

**_Yes, that’s it. Come back to me, Jeyna._ **

When her eyes slide open again, the fire is gone. It’s replaced with the dim interior of the dormitory of the Millennium Falcon. Her heart is pounding rapidly, her breath too fast and shaky. She pulls away, struggling, for just a moment when she feels someone holding her. But then her senses fully return to her, and she stops. Ben’s arms are wrapped around her, her shoulder against his chest.

Jeyna relents immediately, letting herself slump into him as she tries to calm her body down. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs.

He hushes her, wrapping her up tighter in his arms. She presses her face into his chest, slowing her breathing. Her heart rate slows down too, the longer she’s awake. The panic drains from her muscles, helped along by Ben’s embrace. He feels so steady against her, and she can feel him in the force. Even his energy is wrapped around her, soothing.

Jeyna sighs. “I’m sorry I woke you up,” she says.

Ben makes a dismissive noise. “Don’t be,” he insists. She feels him press a kiss to the top of her head, and she nuzzles further into him. “I get them too sometimes. Nightmares, I mean.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve had one that bad,” she admits.

“It was awful, what happened to your planet,” Ben says quietly. “I remember hearing about it, when I was little. Not many survived…”

“No,” Jeyna agrees. “Not many did…I still don’t even know the names of the people who saved me from the wreckage. They were Republic, I think.”

They are silent for a while, as Jeyna tries to remember their faces. But time has blurred them, and all she can remember is huddling on their ship, wrapped up in a blanket. They’d taken her to a refugee center, and from there she’d been shipped out to another planet to find a foster home.

“Well, whoever they were… I owe them everything,” Ben says. She takes one of his hands, entwining her fingers with his and squeezing gently.

“Can you show me how to do what you just did?” she asks curiously.

“What do you mean?”

“Can I help you wake up from bad dreams? The way you just helped me?” Jeyna questions.

Ben’s silent for a long time, as if thinking. His thumb absentmindedly strokes little patterns against her shoulder, only pausing when he finally answers her. “I wouldn’t ask you to do that,” he says. “I don’t want you to see that.”

Jeyna pulls away, squinting to make out Ben’s face in the shadows. She can’t read what emotion is darkening his eyes, even as they hold hers. “Why not? If I could help you, I want to.”

Does he not want her to see his private dreams, she wonders? She wouldn’t have thought Ben would keep secrets from her, not after everything they’d shared already. He takes a faltering breath, before trying to explain.

“I wouldn’t want it to upset you,” he says softly.

Jeyna raises her hand to cradle his face. She scans his features, full lips and an aquiline nose, before searching his eyes. They’re nearly black with such little light, but she feels like she can see so much held back in them.

“I can handle it,” she insists. “If you’re there for me in my darkest memories, I should be there for you in yours.”

Ben tilts his head, leaning down. She closes her eyes in anticipation, rewarded when his lips brush against hers lightly, for just a moment. “Will you teach me how?” she asks.

“I’ll try,” he answers. Then his lips catch hers more earnestly, a chaste kiss that seems to settle her fully. It chases that last lingering bit of fear, leftover from the dream, from her body.

When he pulls away, she sighs with content. The air is slightly chilly at night on Dantooine, even on the ship. His body heat and the blankets over her legs tempt her to crawl back onto her pillow and pull him down with her. But Ben shifts and stands up, surprising her.

“I have something that might help,” he says.

Jeyna watches him cross the room, pulling open the lockers to rifle through one of the drawers. When his hand emerges, she catches sight of something dangling from his fingertips. He returns to her, and she realizes it’s a crystal, on a delicate chain.

“I was going to give it to you on our wedding night, but maybe now is better,” Ben says uncertainly, sitting beside her on the bunk. She hears something in his voice that almost suggests shyness.

“Where did you get it?” she asks, surprised. Jeyna takes it carefully from his hand. The crystal is small and clear, but even in the low light she can see something within its depths. There’s a dance of color in its core, a shimmer of blues and violets. She turns the crystal, watching the lights shift and play.

“I made it,” Ben replies. “When I was fixing my lightsaber. I found the crystal in the cave, and something about it made me think you’d like it. It’s not energetic enough for a lightsaber, but I think it might help you focus.”

“It’s gorgeous,” Jeyna breathes, unable to tear her eyes away from it. She can feel it in the force. It’s a soft, calming thrum of energy. It seems to resonate with her, helping to settle the anxiety that always lingers in her thoughts.

“I thought you could use it, if you wanted to try meditating-” he begins to explain, but she interrupts him with a hug.

“I love it, Ben,” she says, throwing her arms around him. “Thank you so much.”

He murmurs something into her hair in response, but she can’t quite make it out. “What was that?” she asks.

“I love you,” he repeats louder.

Jeyna smiles, happiness filling her. “Will you put it on for me?” she asks, pulling away to turn around on the bed.

Ben takes the necklace from her, and she sweeps her hair out of the way. He fixes it around her neck, and it feels light against her skin. She traces her fingertips over the crystal once again, liking the shape of it. She never wants to take it off.

Her eyes flutter closed as Ben’s lips graze the back of her neck, sending a pleasant chill sparking down her spine. He trails kisses over her skin, before pausing to murmur. “We should get back to sleep. We have a big day tomorrow.”

She grumbles, disappointed that he wants to stop. She’d sacrifice sleep for more of him, and Ben seems to know it. He laughs softly, wrapping his arms around her to pull her back against him.

“There’s plenty of time for that tomorrow night, when you’re my wife,” he insists, his voice teasing.

“There’s plenty of time for it right now, too,” Jeyna retorts, laughing when he urges her down to lay on the bunk. He pulls the blankets up over her, tucking her close to his side.

“We should at least pretend to do things properly,” Ben points out.

She grins at the thought of him being so traditional, partially surprised by it. But perhaps she shouldn’t be, as there were hints of it already. “I like doing things how we want to do them,” she argues.

“Well, in that case…”

She giggles when he rolls over on top of her, propping himself up on her pillow. When he kisses her again, it isn’t chaste. He’s given in, his lips sinful as they coax hers into a deeper kiss. She is silenced as they abandon all pretense of waiting.

**Morning**

Jeyna freezes with guilt when Ben’s voice calls to her from the galley. “Did you eat _all_ the jogan fruit!?”

“…Maybe,” she admits.

Ben emerges, face incredulous. “We just got that two days ago.”

“I’ve been eating dried rations for so long, I just got a little excited over fresh food,” Jeyna replies, shrugging.

Ben only laughs, shaking his head. “Should we pick up some more before we leave?” Jeyna asks suddenly. “I didn’t think about it…”

She realizes she hadn’t planned much of anything apart from exchanging vows and rings. But surely they should plan on some sort of party or celebration after? Her mind begins to spin anxiously, as she wonders what all even happens at a wedding. She’s never been to one, nor bothered to look into traditions.

But Ben shakes his head. “All that’s taken care of.”

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s just say my mother was more than pleased to arrange everything,” Ben says. “We just need to show up.” 


	2. Ch. 2

Jeyna stands along the shore, her bare feet sinking deep into the shifting white sand. It’s pleasantly warm around her toes, and she stays just a few inches away from where the cool waves are washing up. It’s late in the morning, the sun bright against the water. Jeyna squints as she stares out, twirling the stem of the flower between her fingers.

They’re staying at a place she can only describe as some sort of small, private resort. She’s never been anywhere this peaceful before. It seems like the entire planet is deserted save for them, a retreat from the galaxy. The whole area is decorated with tropical flowers in all shades of violet and blue. But Jeyna had selected one of the few white ones for this, and walked out to have a moment of solitude before getting ready for the ceremony.

She’s far enough from the cluster of buildings that she hears nothing but the repetitive waves. She looks down at the soft, layered petals of the flower, but her mind is trying to picture something else: her mother’s face.

Jeyna has spent so much time trying to avoid thinking of it, that for a moment she struggles to remember. But then it fills her memory, in excruciating detail. The tears are immediate, as they always are when she lets herself revisit the past. She wants to remember her mother smiling, laughing perhaps. But she struggles to recall a single good memory. None of them are as vivid as the end.

She has to force herself to not recoil, to try to push passed the pain and remember more. But the impression of her mother that she’s left with is all anguish, visceral pain that echoes strongly enough to make her shake. That terrible last minute is all too eager to replay itself, over and over, drowning out any of the happy memories that came before. 

Jeyna snaps her eyes open, shaking herself to try to escape from the sensations. They’re too strong, and she realizes tears are streaming down her face. She doesn’t want to do this today. Then again, she never wants to do it. So, she ends up pushing the feelings away again. Jeyna focuses on the present to calm herself down. As much as she might wish her mother could be with her for this, she can’t change the past. She has to try her best to make peace with it.

She steps forward, letting the water wash up over her ankles. She wades in a bit more, before bending down to lay the white flower in the ocean. It follows the wave’s motions, pulled towards the shore and back again. But little by little, it starts to drift, never quite returning as much as it is pulled away. It’s soothing to watch.

Jeyna has no idea how long she’s been standing there, watching it taken away by the ocean. When she turns back around to return to the sand, Leia is standing by the water’s edge. Her hair is up, in a beautiful curling design. 

She smiles in greeting, waiting for Jeyna to join her before reaching out to pull her into an embrace. When they pull apart a moment later, Leia gestures along the shoreline. “Would you like to walk for a bit?”

“Sure,” Jeyna agrees, matching Leia’s slow pace. “I was just… Well, I don’t know what I was doing. Thinking, I guess.”

Leia is silent for a moment before replying. “I think it’s only natural, to think of her on a day like today.”

Jeyna frowns. How had she known she was thinking of her mother? Could Leia read minds as easily as her son?

But Leia continues, putting Jeyna’s suspicions to rest. “I only assume you were thinking of her…?”

Jeyna nods. “I… I was trying to. But I don’t remember much more than my last memory of her, and…I don’t like to think about that.”

They walk in silence for a few minutes before Leia comes to a stop, her eyes out on the water. “It can be dangerous, to avoid dealing with our pain. I’m so sorry she can’t be here with you today.”

Jeyna gives her a small smile at Leia’s attempt at comforting her. “I think she would be happy, though. That I’ve found something more than old books and holocrons.”

Leia returns the smile, reaching out to take Jeyna’s hand in a light hold. “I know it’s not the same, but I wanted to say… You are family to me now, Jeyna. And I’m so happy to have you as a daughter.”

Jeyna looks away, blinking rapidly to clear the tears that threaten her vision. She hadn’t expected herself to be emotional already, but Leia’s words affect her deeply. She’s spent her whole life alone, without family. To have Leia accept her so readily is touching. “Thank you,” she murmurs. When she looks back at the older woman, she’s smiling warmly.

“Now let’s get you back. We have to get you ready,” Leia insists, giving a gentle pull at her hand to urge her back towards the resort.

**That Afternoon**

The dress is light and flowy, but she’s still slightly uncomfortable in it. Jeyna can’t remember the last time she’d worn a dress. Most of the clothes she’s worn the last few weeks have been someone else’s, scavenged from the Millennium Falcon. But even before that, she’d never worn beautiful clothing. Her clothes were always practical, simple.

There is nothing practical or simple about the fabric she’s draped in now. It’s dainty and beautiful, cut to suit the sunny climate and ocean breeze. She runs her fingers over it as Leia finishes her hair, an elegant style with braids and twists. She likes that her hair is pulled up. It lets the crystal on her necklace show, unobscured.

Jeyna feels nervous, though she can’t put her finger on why that is. It’s a very informal affair. She had no one to invite, and Ben’s family is small. And yet… Her stomach is jittery, her hands wanting to tremble. This is supposed to be a big deal, isn’t it?

“Do you think he’ll like it?” she asks quietly, giving the dress one last look.

Leia only gives her a knowing smile. “He’ll love it.”

They’re interrupted by a knock at the door. Leia opens it to let Han in, giving Jeyna one last, reassuring look before departing. “Wow. Kid never stood a chance,” Han remarks, a good-natured smile on his face. He offers her his arm, and she takes it with a small, grateful grin.

Han leads her towards the exit, towards the sound of waves and gentle, barely discernable music. She feels self-conscious, out of place in the gown. They pass a mirror and she darts her eyes towards her reflection, only to see they are wide with alarm. She barely recognizes the woman looking back, the hairstyle and makeup on her face making her look so different from her usual appearance.

For one moment of intense doubt, Jeyna second guesses the entire day. She wishes she and Ben had done this alone, in some private moment between the two of them. But then she reaches out, using the force to find him in a way that’s nearly second nature now.

It only takes a moment before she is successful. Ben’s there, waiting for her, and she feels his nervousness and anticipation like it’s her own. It vibrates through their connection before he tries to hold back, to offer more steadiness than even he is feeling.

They turn a corner, and ahead are a pair of open doors. The sand is spilling in over the threshold, and the scent of salty ocean greets her once again. It’s the same scent that had clung to Leia’s robes, so long ago, before Jeyna even knew what an ocean smelled like. Ben had pulled it from her mind, desperate for any clue to find her and get her back. She’d fought it at first, had tried to resist the pull she felt to him. But now her steps come faster, her pace increasing as she nearly races for the doors, and her soon-to-be husband.

Only Han’s gentle grip holds her back and keeps her pace. When they step through the doors into the warm sunlight, her eyes bounce over sand and flowers rapidly before they find him. Ben’s facing her, waiting.

His eyebrows lift, his eyes widening as if to take in the sight of her faster, drinking her in like she can quench his thirst with a look alone. Her heart lifts when their minds fully join in the force, his presence calling her towards him.

He’s always been intense, his emotions nearly a force of nature. But now he’s an inescapable tide, his longing and awe urging her onwards until all she can see is Ben and all she can feel is his will. Jeyna forgets whatever had been making her nervous. She forgets Han is beside her, forgets anyone watching. They all might as well be part of the ocean, blurring together into some background noise her brain dismisses.

**_I wish I could give you the entire galaxy…_ **

Ben’s voice blooms in her mind, thoughtful and soft. Her eyes catch his and stay there, anchored by the honey brown storm that pulls her across the sand.

**_I’d name every sun, every nebula and star system after you…_ **

**_So no matter where you are in the galaxy, you’d know that I love you…_ **

Her lips curve into a smile when she sees his do the same. He never smiles for anyone else, not like that. It’s the kind of smile that touches his eyes, that fills her with joy knowing it’s just for her.

**_You’re my everything…_ **

There’s just a few more steps to reach him, and Han releases her when they arrive. Ben takes her hands in his as she finds her place by his side. The ocean glitters beyond his shoulders, but she can’t tear her eyes away from his face. The sun makes her feel like they are glowing, the wind playing with her dress to make it dance around her ankles. She focuses on Ben, on that feeling of peace between them as they prepare to say their vows.

**Later**

Jeyna has to take a moment to collect herself. Everything feels like a whirlwind, and the music and alcohol has her head buzzing. She sits down in the evening shade, watching Han twirl Leia to the beat. Leia looks happy, her gaze fixated on the old smuggler’s smile as they move together like they’ve done this dance a hundred times.

“Are you alright?”

She looks up to see Luke’s concerned face as he sits beside her, and smiles. “I’m fine. Just needed to sit for a moment,” she assures him.

“I wanted to thank you for inviting me,” Luke admits. “For a long time, I believed I lost my family. I thought I’d spend the rest of eternity alone on my rock…And, well…This is much better.” He gives her a begrudging smile, his eyes leaving hers to land on Han and Leia. For a moment they both watch the pair dancing, before Jeyna replies.

“It wasn’t my idea,” she says.

Luke’s eyes snap back to hers, questioning. Jeyna waits, watching as he processes what she means. Ben had been the one to suggest Leia invite her brother. She assumed he’d meant it as an olive branch, a sign that he was ready to forgive and try to move on.

Ben approaches then, resting his hand on Jeyna’s shoulder when he reaches them. He’s brought her water, and she takes it with a grateful smile. She is thirsty, and surprisingly tired for how early it is. The sun is just now starting its slip towards the horizon, and yet she finds herself suppressing a yawn.

“Congratulations, Ben,” Luke says.

She can feel that there’s still a rift between the two men as they lock eyes, and she nervously sips at her water. Ben’s hand turns slightly heavier on her shoulder, the only sign that he’s tensing up. Jeyna twists in her chair to take his hand with hers, giving it a slight squeeze.

“Thank you,” Ben replies, after a brief hesitation.

Luke’s expression grows distant. “I thought that I’d lost the chance to be in your life,” he says, discomfort clear in his tone. “Thank you, for letting me be here.”

Ben only nods, and Jeyna can sense the complicated knot of emotion he’s feeling towards his uncle. However, she notices the predominant emotion isn’t anger. That counts as progress, doesn’t it? It hadn’t been long ago that the two men had been at each other’s throats with lightsabers. Despite Ben’s lingering negativity, the rage has at least dissipated.

“If the happy couple will excuse me, I’m going to go save my sister from a very drunk Han,” Luke says, standing. Ben’s hand relaxes in her grip the moment his uncle departs, making his way across the beach. Jeyna watches the older man interrupt the dancing pair, relieving Leia from Han’s increasingly clumsy hold.

Ben ducks down, pressing a kiss to the braid that twirls up from Jeyna’s temple. She looks up to give him a soft smile. “Hello, there.”

“Hello,” he murmurs in return, sinking into the chair beside her. Her eyes close as he leans in, kissing her softly again. But this time he finds her lips, and she leans into the contact. He tastes sweet, like the jogan fruit from their cake and the ambrostine they’d toasted with.

“The sun hasn’t even gone down yet, hold your horses,” Han complains loudly.

Jeyna pulls back from Ben’s kiss, opening her eyes to see his father drop into a chair opposite them. He smiles broadly, apparently taking joy in teasing them on their wedding day. Chewbacca joins him, a large mug of something in his hand. Han waves for it, taking a sip before squeezing his eyes closed.

“You brought grakkyn?” Han complains, shoving the mug back at the Wookie. “You trying to kill me?”

Chewie only shrugs, lifting the mug and draining it in one long draw. He hiccups, before giving a soft roar and pulling a bottle from his bandolier. Han eyes the bottle warily, blinking.

“Sure, they let children drink it. Wookie children,” Han remarks. “That bottle could probably kill a Mandalorian.”

Jeyna catches the slight grin on Ben’s face. He seems to enjoy Chewbacca’s presence, and has relaxed since Luke left them. She decides to take advantage of his improved mood, and press her luck. A mischievous smirk threatens at the corners of her lips, but she does her best to keep her face innocently curious.

“You’d mentioned a story, from Ben’s childhood,” Jeyna mentions casually to Han. “Something about butterflies?”

The response is instantaneous. Chewie chortles a rumbling laugh, joined by Han when he remembers what she’s talking about. Ben, however, gives a groan of exasperation.


End file.
